who cares

Apparently, I'm the only one who reads.

2012-01-24T05:14:00.000-08:00

I remember when we had Isabelle come thru, a low category hurricane that caused mass amounts of damage. Everyone was stunned when they found out their homeowners had a 1 or 2% storm damage deductible off the value of their home they had to meet before any claim would be paid. Really? It's right their on your policy, in fact that year (prior to the hurricane) I had switched insurance companies because of that. I found the only company who wasn't putting that in their policies as "standard procedure."

A friend of mine said: "Who reads those policies?" "I do." I replied.

I'm funny that way... If I'm buying it or signing it, I read it. Like the contract you get when you take a cruise. I remember my first cruise thinking, wow, you're kind of on your own when you cruise. It basically strips you of almost any rights and you are at the mercy of whatever the cruise ship decides to do in the interest of passenger safety. On the other hand, you also agree to the fact that nothing is the cruise line's fault.

While reading it I thought, this is pretty scary. Like, for instance, don't ever... AND I MEAN DON'T EVER... tell a cruise ship employee that you have an upset stomach. They can quarantine you to your room for as long as they deem necessary to protect other passengers. All at their discretion.

So, the guests on the Costa are realizing "they can't sue" or at least, it will be a hassle. Like the women on the Today show this morning who are "having nightmares" Oh boohoo! Everyone is shocked that they can't get rich off their experience.

Apparently the cruise line is refunding all expenses, including travel. I think they're are some provisions for loss of personal property, and they will also pay any related medical expenses. Seems fair. But apparently fair doesn't cut it for our litigious society where accidents are turned into opportunities.

Now, I'm not sticking up for the cruise line, the captain may have been reckless. And I'm not implying that real loss shouldn't be compensated. There is real loss of life due to someone's carelessness. That poor couple from Minnesota, imagine their kids dealing with the loss. Of course, there is real trauma from the entire experience, I would probably still be recovering from it. I cannot imagine. But really people... DON'T YOU READ?

I do. I did.

Let's be grateful you walked away from the whole thing alive. Let's insure you're not out any money. Let's pray for those who have not faired as well. And move on. But stop the whining because "you can't sue." Geez!

30 globes

2012-01-17T17:09:00.000-08:00

That's how many worlds I have sitting around. 30 globes.
I also have 2 sets of china
2 sets of every-day dishes
endless flatware and silverware services
glassware galore
art on every wall
various chotchkie

And then there are the things that have ended up at my home by default. Some of my dad's things. Boxes of pictures from my Aunt's house. Things. But, we can't get rid of them. There is a strong connection to all of these things. And even though I'm not sentimental about any of it, the respect for what those things meant to everyone keeps me from begin able to toss that little green address book that sat around my parent's house, pages no longer stay in, the paper is yellowed, half the phone numbers and address' out of date, or the people are no longer with us. But... you get the point. It's all part of the stuff that one just can't discard.

Brass ashtray, broken, but I remember it from when I was a child.
Broken picture frames, with pictures still in them from my grandmother's dresser
My mother's nightgown from her wedding trousseau
My parent's wedding album
The foot-tall indian chief statue

I keep trying to empty closets and lean up my life, but it seems my cupboards have been turned over to nostalgia. Who am I to say what remnants of our family history are to be preserved? By default I am now the curator.

I've been helping my nieces go through their mother's house. They are struggling with the same dilemma. No room in their homes to absorb someone else's lifetime collection of possessions, however, there's history, memories, and respect. I see their closets and cupboards filling up with things that aren't theirs. It's the only way for the moment. At some point they'll be able to respectfully part with it all. But I can't tell them when that will be or for how long they'll be storing the memories.

Little by little we can let it go. I speak from experience. Today I was able to release
a few of those things. A start. That day will come for them too. Because things are things. But the memories are around always.

Meanwhile, anyone want a globe?

"Mirror mirror on the wall"

2011-06-23T18:30:00.000-07:00

My reflection has turned against me. Used to be I would catch a glimpse of my self and this nice person, who looked...ok, glanced back. She wasn't all that thin, but didn't look too bad, and she wasn't shy about revealing a wrinkle or a grey hair. But she always managed to find a flattering way to look back. I carry an image of that woman around in my head. So you can imagine my shock when these days I look in the mirror, and that nice woman is gone. In her place, is an old and somewhat dowdy person that I don't know. That nice woman took off sometime around my last birthday.

Inside nothing's changed. I don't feel any different, every now and then I'm reminded I'm not 18 anymore, but for the most part, you could fool me. I remember when my mom passed away, My dad and her brothers were looking for the perfect photo of her to have up at the memorial, and they choose this picture from when she was 16. I kept thinking, that's not my mother... but to them, that's who she always was. And I'm sure that's who she always thought she was too. She had a warm kind smile and a gleam in her eye, especially when she saw one of her grand children. I remember that gleam peaking out of that 16-year old's eyes. Yup, that was my mom. They were right.

We all have this image of ourselves that's frozen in time. Then comes the day when our self image stops looking forward, while the rest of us keeps going. It's why we do stupid things, like heavy lifting that hurts our back, or try on some old outfit and wonder when it shrunk. It's why woman are slow to update hairstyles and continue to shop in the juniors department, well past thier "juniors expiration date." it's hard to keep up when our mental image of ourselves is lagging way behind.

I think we all live in a parellel world. There's our outside person, the one that is starting to frighteningly resemble our grandmothers, and the inside person. that one that is having a great time, full of life, self confident and as beautiful as ever. I often feel as sassy as a tall blond, you can imagine my dissapointment when I look in the mirror and find a short middle-aged greek. It just doesn't add up.

When I look at other people they've remained the same, their reflections may be betraying them, but their outsides are just like that 16 year old photo of my mom. When I see my sister, she's the same 10 year old who told me she was an alien and made me cry. And when my cousins were all together, they were the same girls as the ones huddled up in one of our bedrooms getting yelled at by the grownups for being too noisy. And my children, neices and nephew, they may be grown, but they still look like kids to me.

This new woman in the mirror, I may not know her, and I may never invite her into my self image. As long as she doesn't hold me back, I'll let her tag along. But she better behave, and she better be able to keep up.

my outside and inside self in Italy.

The courtesan and the gardener

2011-03-15T05:24:00.000-07:00

This weekend was so nice out, after some major garden cleanup and running of errands I just wanted to relax in the sun on my front porch and read. Problem was, nothing in the current stack fit my mood. So, I went to my bookcase. Yes, that's right, I still take to the old fashioned hard cover and paper.. I like the smell of books. After pulling one or two down, I settled on a classic. Camille. The classic love story of Armand, a man of society and the french courtesan, Marguerite. I am now a 19th century parisian. I love reading these old novels. the language is wonderful, the people so proper, or not. There really was a strong line of right and wrong, and one did not cross if for fear of bringing an entire families reputation down. I long for such maners and polite society, yet without the persecution that went with it.

It was hard to turn on the TV after my escape to the wealth and luxury of paris in the late 1800's and see the kardashions commentary as they walked through NY. My job, advertsiing and web nuts seemd insidgnificant, after haveing cried with Camille as she sacrificed her only happiness for the beneift of the man she loved. I find myself wanting to darn shalls, hats, gloves and move through the night in carriages with escorts. I currently feel totally misplaced in 2011, while my mind is still back a couple of centuries. I loved the the formality. Today we email and tweet, then they sent letters via servants.

I loved the escape. It was calming and wonderful. I may escape to England next, perhaps from the point of view of Jane Austin. Or maybe the Bronte's. No Dickens, nothing dark... sad maybe, but not dark. He was dark. Somethign that allows me to explore the life, gardens, and cutlture of the time with polite people narrating it all for me. A polite society. A time when Snookie didn't exist, or if she did, she would have been banned to the streets for her bahavior, her family honor distroyed and her position in life stripped, as well as her fortune.

Oh ... bring me a bouquet of camillias, and polite society. Is it time for tea?

Let them eat cake!

2011-03-02T03:43:00.000-08:00

This winter has been exceptionally cold, and we had two pretty impressive snow falls. So, I decided to help nature along and feed the birds. I have all these bird houses around and my goddaughter asked me one day, you house the birds, where's the bird feeders? My responce was "my yard is a bird feeder." And that's true. I have something blooming all year long. Berries in abundance. seeds, plants, trees, there's plenty for them to eat, and there must be, because I have a ton of birds in the yard.

Well, as far as I could tell, the only one's benefiting from the new drive thru bird feeders I intalled were the squirrels. Until they finally broke the feeder.

I gave up. But not soon enough. I had already planted the idea of easy food in their squirrel brains, and while they were at it they found a nice opening in my shed roof and figured, hmm.... shelter too. So, almost $400 later, I have a guy on my shed roof setting a trap to catch the squirrels that have decided to build a nest in my shed.

I watched the squirrell for a couple of days go in and out. They also chewed the hold in the roof bigger, for ease of use I thought, but no, it's their marking. The bite marks indicate it's theirs.

I could cohabitate with the critters. I do feel bad, they worked so hard. But I will not be able to go into my shed, They can be very territorial, at least thats what the young man from ZooPro told me. He also said they'll take them about 10 miles out, that will insure they won't come back. So, I make my coffe trying not to look outside at the trap.
I woudl freak if I saw the thing in there. And my hired Daniel Boone will come back every day for 10 days to insure they're gone and then patch up any holes that will insure they can't get in again.

And I'll forgo the feeders, which by the way according to Trapper Dan, is the number one reason people get critters in the house.

It's like my friend once told me about this man that used to stop over all the time. I was compaining how he would just pop in unexpected, and sit and chat. Which he did one day when she was here, and of course, being brought up the way I was, I offered him a cup of coffe, and asked if he had breakfast yet.. so on. My friend exclaims, "no wonder he keeps coming back, you're feeding the critter!"

My life of leisure

2011-02-24T04:39:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows me knows I quit my job last fall. End date 12/31, exteneded to 1/31, extended indefinately. I've hired a new Associate creative director, who is starting in a couple of weeks. My terms being get me out of day to day management and I want more flexibility and less stress.

So, how's that working for me?

1. This week I've already logged over 40 hours of work, two more full days to go.
2. Past two weekends, I worked.
3. The highlight of my social life was taking home Pot stickers from Fresh Market and two movies last saturday night.
4. Facebook accounts for the most interaction I have outside of my office with people and friends.
5. Canceled a trip to see my daughter in philly, because I'm too tired from working too much.
6. hurrying through this blog so I can get to the office for the third in a week back to back presentations.

Now my new guy hasn't started yet, he will be a sort of replacement for me. I'll check back in month a let you know how it goes. That is if I am still alive.

it's check-up time

2011-02-10T04:06:00.000-08:00

Have you ever tried to comparison shop the cost of healthcare. It's basically impossible.

I hate the medical system. I really hate hospitals. I'm not sure what healthcare reform has done for the cost of healthcare. Oh wait.. now I know... NOTHING. The real problem was never addressed because the insurance industry got thier way in the end.

I need to have my yearly mammogram. I used to go to an imaging cetner. mamaograms cost about $150, ok,maybe $200. Then the radiologist and so on... That place doesn't do mamograms anymore. I can't find anywhere to go get one done. Except of course, the hospital outpaitent. Now, my health policy doesn't cover maintenece. The new health plan may have solved that, I think by law they need to cover mamograms if you meet the criteria. But still, I don't want some $600 bill for a mamogram. Even if insurance does pay. So, I'm looking for a center I can go to, and trying to find out what it costs.

Oh my goodness, they're is a pause on the other end of the phone. Dead silence. They have no idea. No one. I mean NO ONE ever asks that question. None of us would buy a car and just pay what they say it's costs. We negotiate for homes, mortgage rates, home improvements, comparasion shop for appllances. Basically, none of us pay retail. it's sort of like bringing home the kill to brag about the bargain we got.

Yet, like lemmings, we blindly just go where we're told, follow the path outlined by our physician, no questions asksed. The virtual cliff of financial ruin.

I'm on a mssion. I won't put money before my health. But, think about it, isn't that where they get you?

The idea is dead

2011-02-07T05:12:00.000-08:00

Everyone knows I'm in advertising. I don't have million dollar budgets, and I don't work for a national boutique agency where the creative rules either. But I have been in the business for a while, and I came up in the industry where the idea ruled. I've won my fair share of awards, even on a national level. I've even judged award shows, looking for that great idea that you say "wow, I wish I had thougth of that!" Those are the best.

Now I interview art directors and writers, and I'm always dissapointed. The books i see are all schtick. The computer seems to be taking over. The designs are getting complicated, or they're just stupid or silly just for being stupid and silly.

Is the idea dead?

Most of the super bowl commercials were all about special affects, stupid for the sake of stupid, or crazy sensationlism. Void of ideas, or relevenece to every day life. It was quite reflective of the books I'm seeing these days. The art directors who start with technique and then it takes over. Pure noise, with no relevence to me. I used to think, we'll, I'm out of hte demographic. But no. It's not me. It's a degradation of the art.

I was thrilled to hear Donny Duetsch this morning on the Today Show. His agency was one of the advertising meccas when I was coming up in the business. And it was one of the few agencies to maintian their creative integrity while still growing into an international giant.

Their VW ad was brilliant. It resonated across demographics. Took an every day life situation and put a humourous twist on it (relevence) and sold something at the same time. Of course, Donny Duetsch is from my era of advertising. I'm sure there's descension in his ranks. Some young art director or writer thinks he's old, washed up and his ideas are dated. They're frustrated they dont' get to play with the toys or do that outragious advertising.

I have news for anyone climbing the ad ladder. Ideas are never dated. Trends are short lived. Good ideas live on forever. As a creative director I plan to keep forcing my art diretors and writers to have an idea. Dated? maybe. Right? YES!

where's my voice?

2011-01-30T06:15:00.000-08:00

My daughter is diligent about her blog. In fact, there's hell to pay if she doesn't post comments for a while. We all check in regularly to follow her life and check in on Samantha. Then I scroll down all the blogs she follows, and shame sets in. All of us who were inspired by her communicating thru this wonderful medium ran out and started our own blogs. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Ten months, that's how long it's been since some of us took the time to update the world on how we're doing.

What's my excuse? Do I blame Facebook? Now I can update everyone with a sentence or two. Do you really need more information? I love to write, but finding my voice and thinking I have something worth saying amongst all this chaos is hard. If you're close to me than you know what's going on in my personal life. Or better yet,what's not. There's doesn't seem to be enough to write about. And if you're a stranger, then why would you care about my day to day experiences? Have I lost my voice, or has my life gotten too dull to document?

I met up with an old friend last night, who asked me if I was still writing. Oh here and there I replied, when I knew I wasn't writing at all. He used to read my stories and loved them. Beign a writer himself, that meant something to me. As soon as the lie came out of my mouth I asked myself why aren't you still wriitng? Do I need an unique experience to inspire me to write? Where is my muse? Do I even have a voice, or am I merely a reporter documenting events? If the latter, I guess I have to credit my unique life for supplying the material all these years. Does that diminish my talent? Can I write, or have I just lived a strange life?

I don't make resolutions, but let's say for 2011 I plan on getting back to some of the things I have enjoyed doing over the years. I'll start writing again. My garden will be beautiful. I'll travel again to Italy, I'll be a grandmother for the second time, and I'll break my routine of work/home/work/home. Maybe it's not my voice that's been on hiatus. It's time to drum up some things worth writing about. I'll never be as regular as my daughter is with her updates, after all a toddler is changing every day, an unlimited wealth of new experiences to record. My talent is in the storytelling. What's been missing are the stories.

Hopefully, when you all check out alexis' blog and scroll over to the side, my blog will be waiting in the wings, updated with new anectdotes and editorials to share. All those fun and exciting adventures, aka, my lfe. I encourage all of us post to our blogs more often. There's nothing too small to share. Don't anaylize if you have something to say or not. We're all family, we care about each other and what's going on, and we want to know. What a great way to stay in touch, as proven by Alexis' regular updates on Samantha's progress. Many of you met Samantha thru the blog first, before even seeing her. We're not a shy bunch for sure, and as anyone who's been to our family gathers will tell you,we ALL have a voice. So, use it.

Now if you'll excuse me... my muse is calling. See you in the blogs!

Men seeking Wo:

2010-10-16T06:53:00.000-07:00

The other day a friend told me she dove into the online dating world. These days, nothing wrong with that, it’s fun, and it’s become one of the more accepted venues with which to meet someone. However, it’s tricky. As my friend is finding out, some men are clueless as to how to put their best foot forward. Both in their profiles, and in the messages they send, those opening lines meant to catch your attention, they’re more like an express lane to delete. It appears men need a little coaching on how to present themselves in the most flattering way. So, all you guys, I’ve developed a short set of rules to help you navigate the cyber dating world.

1. If you live with your mother, while at some point that’s admirable, it’s not a great conversation starter.
2. No matter how poorly your ex-wife treated you, that’s between you and her, we don’t need to hear about it.
3. On that note: if you’ve been divorced for five years or more, and still stuck on how poorly your ex-wife treated you, you need counseling, not a dating site.
4. I know you find this hard to believe, but pictures of your car really don’t interest us.
5. Ditto on pictures of fish you’ve caught.
6. And hunting dogs… (Think about how attractive a woman holding her cats looks.)
7. If you’re not George Clooney, then it’s probably not realistic to expect us to look like a European super model.
8. Being unemployed is unfortunate, But it makes a better intro line on Monstor.com not Match.com
9. Really? Are there no photos of you alone? Cropping out an old girlfriend is just bad judgment.
10. Until we actually have met, it’s hard for me to believe I’m your sweetheart, the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen, or consider running away to Europe with you. Let’s keep perspective, shall we.

So, polish up those profiles guys, as in most Internet interaction, the average time spent on a page is 55 seconds. And you’re just a fraction of those seconds. So we have to make it count. Good luck. See you in cyber space.

Dad? Is that you?

2010-09-12T16:02:00.000-07:00

I had another "oh my God, I'm my father" moment tonight.

You know those times when you catch yourself doing the very thing you used to laugh at your parents for doing. Once it was a morning when I just heated up yesterday's old coffee. It was a perfectly fine almost full pot. I saw no reason to waste it. Just popped my mug into the microwave, and it wasn't' until I was sipping away that the brick hit my head "oh my god, I've turned into my father"

There are other sublte offenses. I think I've seen every re-run of NCIS on TV. My Dad's equivalent was "In the heat of the night" or "Matlock." I always wondered how he found them all the time.. now I know. Yesterday I was complaining to the manager of a new grocery store that they didn't have the brands I usually shopped, they didn't care... but I felt compelled to tell them how to stock their shelves for their sake. And I recently found myslef jury rigging a home improvement project, rather than call in a professional.

But tonight, I crossed the line. After dinner it was time to store the leftovers, and I'm out of plastic wrap. Chicken is fine, it's in a coverd dish. sauce, covered dish. But I had nothing to put the rice in. So, I dumped it in a bowl. Took some wax paper, fit it over the bowl, then.... yes...those who know my father know what I did next. Then I put a rubber band around the wax paper to hold it onto the bowl.

Shower caps. My father's refrigerator was full of little bowls covered with what we called shower caps. His were the actual covers you buy w/ elastic around the edges. I'm not sure they still sell them.. but my Dad had a bunch, and I think he would wash, and re-use them. Open his refrigerator on any given day and there was an army of little bowls with shower caps all ferminting in there or becoming their own science experiement. You didn't dare lift the cover or look inside.

It wasn't until I was carefully pulling the wax paper down thru the rubber band that the brick fell again... Yup, my Dad would be proud. I guess as we get older, we realize our parents weren't that excentric aftert all, just practical.

And one day, my children will catch themselves in a moment, and they'll stop dead in their tracks and realize, "they've become their mother" As for me, I'll pull my shower cap bowl out this week and enjoy my left-overs, before they become a science experiement. There are some of my Dad's habits I won't take on... of course, check back in about 20 years. The way things are going, I guess it's best never to say never.

Letter to the previous generation

2010-08-05T18:59:00.000-07:00

All those before us would have been proud. As a family, we've always been close. And not just sister, brother, mother close. Our branches spread quite far. First cousins, second cousins, cousins we can't even figure out what number they are, they're all family, and they're all held close to our hearts. This past weekend, we did what any extended Greek family does, traveled over 2000 miles, almost across country to see our cousin get married. It's just what we do.

Like I said, we're a close family.

Our parents would have done it. There was the time we all drove to DC to bless another cousin's union. Last minute. Our Uncle called and told us he was going to DC to see his daughter get married. The only question our parents asked was, where and when. Five people in new york squeezed into a car, way too small for five. My husband and I took off from down here, next thing you know we're all at dinner going scotch for scotch with our Uncle, the father of the bride.

My wedding weekend took place during the blizzard of '77. No one traveled that weekend, except of course my crazy Greek family. Miss a wedding? Not us! The hotel didn't have any heat and every one froze for the fist night. But we were all together, and that's all that matters.

We're family. And being around for each other is what we do. And this weekend we were there for our cousin. And almost every generation was represented. I know our parents were up there toasting Michal and his bride. And they were looking down on all of us beaming with pride. My uncle Teddy was smiling down on his grandson, and so happy we all were there for him. Uncle Tommy was thrilled to see the party spirit in all of us. My mother was beaming at the camaraderie of her daughters and granddaughters. My grandmother loved the idea of her legacy, and our commitment to each other. I think she was especially touched by our connecting with Keith, one of the few Mantis' left.

They say spirits appear in photographs as flairs of light. Also called orbs. I have a few pictures from the weekend that tell me they were all there. As they would have been if they had gotten the call. " A wedding... where? When?" And off they would would have went.

Some things never change.

The next generation of crazy party goers.

Evelyn, Jerry, Keith and Chrise. If you look in the upper corner, you'll see the orbs.
No doubt, they were there!

The bride and Groom

independence

2010-05-23T15:25:00.000-07:00

Samantha has started to play out my revenge on my daughter. She's becomming her own person, oh that moment when you start to loose control. It's only going to get worse. I've attached a video showing how she's learned to express herself so well.

I went up to NY this past weekend, via Philly to my godson's graduation. It was a wonderful day, and we were all treated to a wonderful dinner celebration. It was so good to see everyone. Here are a few more pictures from the weekend.

We stoppedin Philly, here's Chris and Samantha, and the three generations in one picture.

We stopped in Manasquan to see the kaftens

Then the graduation

Dinner

and I saw Nicole

mothers, manatees and mulch

2010-05-13T03:57:00.000-07:00

I spent Mother's day in Florida with my sister and brother-in-law and we had a lovely weekend. Chrise picked me up from the airport, and took me to this wonderfully kitschy restaurant, Brew Babies, that was set amongst this great outdoor garden. I just couldn't wait to get home and create re-do my yard entirely, I was so inspired. Lunch was good too.

Then we had her neighbors over for dinner, always fun, my drinking partner, Robin, thoroughly enjoyed my cucumber cooler! And our surprise guests were Louis and Doug. Louis used to live across the street from me and he was my garden advisor for years. I miss him now that he's gone, but what I fun I get to visit with him when I go down to Florida. He ended up living close to my sister, in a town we used to always go to for the art galleries. It really is a small world.

Then on Sunday, we met up with Louis, (Doug was a little under the weather, NOT the cucumber coolers, he had a tooth problem) So, Louis took us out on the boat. THE boat. I looked a this boat for three years, it SAT and I mean SAT in louis' driveway across the street from for me for about three years. I think he may have took it out once or twice, but for he most part, we used to call it the most expensive yard ornament ever! But, to my surprise,the boat floats. We had a blast, Louis was so gracious, he took us out on the river, we fished, the cat fish were jumping out of the water, but not the kind you want to eat, so we spent a ton of time throwing (or rather Louis spent a bunch of time) throwing the cat fish back. We did catch some mackerel, two nice sized ones. And the Mantees put on a show for us. The ride was great. The house is beautiful. The garden of course is a paradise. It was lovely.

Then sadly it came to an end, and we were all tired!! Kenny's back was bothering him, so I hope all is well with that. But I think we all enjoyed the weekend, aches, pains and sunburn aside. Thank you Kenny, Chrise, Louis and Doug.

The Mantees saying hello

Louis and Kenny driving the boat

Chrise, Robin and Ata, dinner sat night.

Brew Babies, gardens, above is Chrise at Brew Babies

Wonderful piece of property, gardens are beautiful, Louis and Doug are lucky to live in such a wonderful place.

Moms

2010-05-07T03:35:00.000-07:00

This morning on NPR, I heard an excerpt from the story core project. Story Core consits of recordings that people have sent in about moments in their personal lives, historic moments, family history, personal stories, and so on. It's a wonderful series, and this morning in honor of mother's day, they had two woman talking about their mom. It made me wonder what memory my children would want to record for prosperity. Now that you're done wandering into that thought, and laughing, I'll tell you I have no idea, but I do know one of the defining moments for me. Of course, my children's birth, and the milestones, birthdays, graduations, weddings, and the gift of a grandchild. But the moment that most defined my years of MOM is one I guarantee my children won't even remember. I"m not even sure of the exact month and year. I think it was April of '93. We had just drove up from Birmingham, AL to our new home in Louisville, KY. My little Honda prelude packed with the basics, including a TV and VCR to get us through the night, as our moving company wasn't going to arrive until the next day. Our new home was a tri level townhome I had rented in a nice part of town. It was clean, nice looking, had a great view of woods out the back deck, and plenty of room for all of us. This was the first time the girls were seeing it. So, after checking out all the rooms, I suggested we go exploring our new area and get some dinner. During this whole process I have no idea what was going through their heads, but I was very excited about the move, and the job, and of course, very anxious. After all I was this single mom who didn't know a sole in this new town. NOT A SINGLE PERSON. Other than the people I worked with I was totally alone. Me and my baby cubs, going out to forage for food in the new land and check out our surroundings. I don't remember exactly what we ended up getting or doing, I'm sure we bought some groceries, maybe drove by their school, remember all this was before GPS and cell phones. But since we had an entire night and no furniture, cable or anything except our VCR we also went and rented some video's. So, I'm in the neighborhood video store, and I have to sign up. I'm beaming with excitement. Giving the salesgirl, who is all of 16, my NEW address, and credit card and I start to tell her, we just moved here. Just an hour ago. I continue all excited and smiling, this is the first thing we've done here. You're the first place I've connected with, and I'm going on and on over how cool this is that we live here now and so on and and so forth, grinning ear to ear. Well, of course, she could give a hoot. Like who cares lady, just have the video back by tomorrow.

That poor girl had no idea how proud and triumphant the simple task of finding and renting a video seemed to me. I had just led us into the new world. At that moment I felt like we were the dynamic trio. The three of us could do anything. And I WAS the leader of this amazing pack of accomplished humans. I felt so empowered. I had gotten my pack to safety, in a new environment, navigated the strange surroundings and we emerged triumphant, with a video to watch. Life would continue as we knew it. And I had accomplished it all. I WAS super mom!

Louisville turned out to be very kind to us. We all made nice friends, enjoyed a nice life there, admittedly it was the most tumultuous time in my life, I lost a relationship, and my mother passed away while I was in Louisville. But I still remember my time there as very peaceful and happy. In the fall of '96 we left Louisville behind and moved back to Virginia. That's about 14 mother's days ago. My daughters, one a mother now, the other also grown and forging her own way in the world probably have their own memories of Louisville, but I doubt very much that moving day was a defining moment for them. I hear them tell me all the time of things they remember, that I barely can scrape up from the grey matter in my brain. Perhaps that's because I was always so busy getting through life to be a part of it. But for one night back in '93, and a million overdue video rental fees ago, the three of us were joined together in an adventure, led by me, and we survived. As a mom, that was the moment I felt It would all be okay. And I'm sure the woman I looked up to, my mom, would have been proud of her daughter.

SPRING!!

2010-04-30T04:37:00.001-07:00

My garden is showing off. I lvoe the way ti looks this time of year, and I so wish I could bottle it and keep it year round. Between now and early july, all my favorites are in bloom. Early spring, lilacs, ladybanks rose and iris. Then summer, day lillies, tiger lillies, gooseneck. It's all worth it this time of year. And this sat, I can promise you'll find me out there, pruning, digging, cleaning, afterall, how rewarding is all this. I just know my mom is looking down on the garden she always wanted and smiling.

I am woman... Hear me saw!

2010-03-20T16:36:00.000-07:00

I conquered another home fix-it project today. Another notch on the gucci workbelt for Rosie Riveter. I AM THE woMAN!

Last winter was more than my PVC that supplies water throughout my yard could handle. I sort of expect to have to check it out every spring, no biggie, it's not buried, or insulated, so when I open my pump, and it's all intact, I just look up the sky and say thank you to that big gardener who's looking out for me.

But this winter was brutle. In fact, I'm lucky, I only had one pipe crack. I have had cracks before. That's when I find myself pulling a BlancheDuBois and depending on the kindness of strangers. Last time it was the underground I was dating. Underground refers to those men I date that aren't ready for prime time. You don't bring them home to meet the kids, or include them in family events. It's just you and them, and that's fine. Until eventually you figure out that interesting, is actually legally insane. And "dark and mysterious," is slumming for sociopath. But before all that blows up, you get a few things around the house fixed. And in this case, the cracked PVC was one of them, along w/ a nice low point faucet to help drain the pvc when I shut the pump in the winter. Well, it's no guarantee, but maybe that's why I only had one crack in what is almost 300 feet of PVC pipe.

This years damage was to the pipe that is securely fastened to the shed tucked behind the potting table that is also secured to the shed with 4" screws.. you get the picture. So, we're not only talking pipe, saw and glue. We get to get out the 16hp cordless power drill. Heehaw!

First trip to the hardware store, pipe, elbows, couplings. Mark came with... While the salesman was explaining how to attach the pipe he basically looked right past me toward Mark. Yes, hands-of-silk Mark. About the only part of home improvements he participates in is the shaking of the martinis to celebrate when finished. Afterwards I told Mark I wasn't as offended by the salesmen's assumption, as he should of been by the reality of how ridiculous the idea of him being a handyman is.

Second trip, yes, most men recognize this, it's never just one trip to the hardware store is it guys? This time I needed another coupling, so my over acheiver self, bought four of everything.

At last, I'm on it. Unscrew the potting table, measure and cut the pipe, glue, assemble.. now I have to wait.. The instructions said wait for two hours before subjecting the fittings to pressure, aka, don't run water through the pipe for two hours.

So, I did what any handyman would do. I came in and gave my self a pedicure and manicure.

Then after two hours, I took my painted toes and power drill out back, and ...voila, it worked. Secured the potting table, cleaned up, and crossed another to-do off the list. And this summer I'll darn my garden hat, flowered garden gloves, take my painted toes out back, turn on my garden hose. Becasue when it comes to tackling home repairs, the only shrinking violets around here are in the ground, well watered.

Life Automated

2010-02-05T03:25:00.000-08:00

Recently my daughter and son in law gave me one of those coffee pots with a timer. I set it the night before, and voila, coffee in the morning when I wake up. Coffee waiting for me when I return from my morning walk. The smell of fresh coffee waking me up on the weekend. It's amazing. I start my day with a hot cup of coffee prepared for me, waiting, I'm greeted by my fresh original roast Maxwell house in my favorite mug. For a brief moment in the morning, I'm being waited on. Cared for. Looked after. Timers are my new best friend. coffee in the am... set the timer. Dinner waiting for you when you come home from work, fire up the crock pot. Lights on, timers. Warm up the house before you get out of bed, program the thermostat. Basically, I'm being totally cared for and looked after by merely pushing a few buttons. No wonder men have such a hard time these days finding their place with women, the basics are taken care of, suddenly one has to begin to deliver on a whole new level. The functionality of a man has been replaced by programing. Gone are the days of impressing a woman by making her coffee in the morning. Done. The world of automation has demanded one impress in other ways. Like, oh my goodness... by having a personality. Now there's a challenge.

There may still be hope however, I've yet to figure out a way to get my trash rolled out to the street via an automated system. perhaps there's still room for a man after all.

November Nor'Easter

2009-11-13T15:56:00.000-08:00

That's what the news called it. I called it scary! Wind, and more rain than I've ever seen. When I got home last night, between the flickering lights, buzzing transformers and the bangs of "who knows what" hitting my house I was frightened, and not looking forward to a long scary evening of things that go bump in the night.

In walks the calvery, My neighbors came to sit vigil, so of course, now I'm totally distracted and into service mode. And quicker than you can knock at my front door, I'm swinging into hosting. Homemade pizzas on the grill w/ roasted shallots and red peppers, and of course a single malt (that's scotch, for the blowing moores like wind.) Chocalate, fruit and suddenly I'm not even hearing the clunks on my roof, or the cracks of limbs hurling down hopefuly to the ground and not my house. At one point durring dinner the lights finally came back on, and we all looked at each other and I got up and switched them off.

Thankfully, we're all fine. No trees down on my house or theirs. The worst has passed, althougth this thing is still hanging around... (Nor'easter's - stay longer than hurricanes by the way) The area's taken a beating, But here in my little piece of the world, we're no worse for the wear. in fact, my neighbors have given me a new name: "Survivor Gourmet"

the table was all algow, you'd be amazed how much light a candelabra gives off.

Not the best pictures, becasue there was no light, remember. but here's the entire spread before we ate it all gone.

The Yummy Dance

2009-11-07T08:23:00.000-08:00

Samantha has been staying at Yai yai's this week, and last night I babysat. She's loves yai yai's chicken. And here's her yummy dance to prove it.

My Muse

2009-10-19T04:29:00.000-07:00

While in Corfu, I found my muse at Achilles palace where there was the garden of the nine muses. Since that trip I can truly say things have been in sync.

Recently I've begun to see a very nice man. He of course would blush at this glowing review of what is still a newly formed, young, early stages relationship. And to protect the innocent, I'll hold out on his name just yet. But those of you who have known me, and followed my affairs of the heart, or lack there of, will understand this need to gloat. Let's review the highlights:

1. He has legs
2. He has integrated into society, has a job, a home, probably pays taxes
3. As far as I can tell, he's not in the witness protection program
4. is my age
5. And I actually enjoy spending time with him, as opposed to wanting to dodge his phone calls
6. My sister keeps asking me what I found wrong with him, and I can truly say, "nothing"

and although I'm making light of it, actually, I'm quite smitten. One big thing, he too grew up in Long Island, which means I'm not constantly apologizing or explaining everything that comes out of my mouth. As as we know, some pretty shocking stuff comes out of my mouth.

Well, I thank my muse for guiding me into what has possibilities of being a very nice man to have in my life. I'll keep you all posted. In the meantime, I'll be busy for a little bit, distracted, and yes.. throwing aside family and friends for my new boyfriend. Don't' worry, life will take over and I'll be back. Hopefully, not alone.

A bit xrated, but too good to resist

2009-10-09T16:40:00.000-07:00

So, I went the doctor today, nothing big, basic yearly stuff. The nurse practictioner saw me, and I had to have a pelvic. For those men who read my blog, in case you don't know that's the lovely exam where we lay on our backs and count the ceiling tiles while our medical professional poke around "down there".

Well, there I was, the usual... "you'll feel a little poke"...."okay, almost there...." then this nurse practitioner let's out a squeel with all the excitement of a kindergarten teacher praising her students "WOW, YOU LOOK GREEEEEAT!"

She continues her excited tone, telling me that given the fact that I'm in menopause, and for how long, I look great down there... she then starts to describe what she sees that's so great, IN DETAIL. And again, the enthusiam made it all the more surreal.

So, there I'm am. Starring at the ceiling, listing to this woman praise my vagina. And all I'm thinking is 'okay, I have this 25 year old vagina, now if my boobs and face could catch up, I'm in business.'

Next week I have my colonoscopy. I can't wait o find out how old my colon is. I'll keep you posted.

Another trip to Philly

2009-09-28T04:31:00.001-07:00

This weekend I went to see Alexis, Pete and Samantha. Alexis and Pete were doing thier fundraiser for childhood cancer, so my job was to watch Samantha for them, and bring her down to the stand. it was a lovely fall day in Philly, I had Aunt Millie to help me and Samantha was so good. She's getting big, she crawls everywhere, pulls up on everything, especially the most unstable thing she can find, and she talks all the time. just ba ba sounds and squeels, but still, I fear she's going to be quite the chatterbox. It was a lovely weekend, and I miss them all already. Here'a few pics.

the best garden tool EVER!!

2009-09-15T18:26:00.000-07:00

It a garden sheer, weedeater, bush trimmer and overall cleaner-upper. I love it. My girlfriend, Deborah, told me about it, we went to Lowes so I could buy some garden sheers, I'm always letting mine sit out and get rusty. She told me about this wonderful tool, the Black & Decker 7.2 Volt Cordless Shear / Shrubber. LOVE IT!! I'm in heaven. I tried it this morning and I feel empowered. I can conquor the wax myrtles. the dying back daylillies have nothing on me. Even the loosestreif is a done deal now. It's so much better than garden sheers, and way better than a weedeater. Those stupid things cut one or two things then the line breaks. I felt like I was always stopping to fix the line.

Well, mary mary, no more quite contrary. I'm in fall garden cleanup heaven. I suggest you all go out today and buy one.

Weekend visits

2009-09-07T17:12:00.000-07:00

I have no pictures. But I do have the honor of saying Nicole gave me almost 24 hours of her time this weekend. She arrived Sat at around 6 or 6:30, Justin, their dog and her. We had a lovely dinner, took a nice walk down to the oceanfront to see or hear the bands, watched fireworks, came home, went to bed.

The next day, we took a long walk in the morning to see the marathon and search out breakfast. It was hot, and we got stuck on the beach walking because they had the entrance closed for the runners. So, after dodging a million people, walking about six more blocks than we may have wanted to, heating up, buying lemonade along the side of hte road from the neighborhood children, we came home and made our own breakfast. Since we had Icharus, their dog- a whippet, with us we could only eat at a place where we could sit outside, and since there were a million people at the beach, that wasnt' happening. So we just came home. The fun part was that at one point I was reminded that both my children's days of freedome have ended. We're no longer the free, cocktail slugging dining out bunch we used to be. If we don't have Samantha's schedule to guide our plans and timings, we have a new puppy, who we really can't leave alone in the house.

Nicole and Justin took off sunday afternoon, we loaded up some furniture in their car and they had a friend to visit in Hampton. I hope they had a nice time. I so enjoyed their visit, and especially since it was just us. We really had time to chat and enjoy each other.

I love having my children here. But it's nice to have my freedom back too.

Lock the doors Ethel, the devil's coming.

2009-09-03T16:32:00.000-07:00

So today all the educators around the country are up in arms over the first day of school address Obama wants to give students. Parents are writing in asking if their child can opt out. I actually saw a man on the news saying he didn't want his child subjected to that liberalism.

Okay, by the way...Bush was at a school reading to children when we were attacked on 9-11. I wonder what insued before that. I wonder how many of those kid's parents kept their child home that day so they wouldn't have to be subjected to that right wing propaganda, I beleive he was in the middle of the launch of his "no child left behind" program. I'll bet back then, we were still honored to meet or be addressed by a president.

What's happened to the days when if a president wanted to address your children via radio, or live broadcast you would actually send them to school that day in new clothes. We're talking the highest office in this country, and we are pulling out children out of school that day so they're not there. This is frightening.

Chew on this Mr right wing paranoid Dad...if you teach your child that he doesn't have to listen to someone as important as the President of The United States - then who does your child have to listen to? Certainly not a principal or a teacher. Ever think about that message that's beign burned into your little school child's brain. I fear for the next generation. I fear for our country.

The devil is coming. But not on the first day of school via a radio address. The devil is here already. Spreading fear, hate and intolerance. And I have no idea where all this will head us. But I'm very afraid.

A sad day

2009-08-26T04:24:00.000-07:00

It's silly to get so affected by the death of someone you never met. Never knew personally, never even stepped in the same room with that person, however, Ted Kennedy has been in our lives forever, and he will be missed, even if he wasn't a part of our day to day lives.

In actually, he was. He was there pushing through legislation for the people. He was truly born of an era when you were taught to share your wealth and position and use it for a good cause. Unlike our wealthy heirs today who use their position for celebrity status and reality tv shows. Like the Kennedys or not, they were America's royal family. They were powerful, influential, and they touched all our lives. Ms Soccer mom has Ted Kennedy to thank for the fact that girl's sports are now a gateway for some to earn a collage education. Teens have Ted Kennedy to thank for the minimum wage they earn at their summer jobs. Dads can thank Sen. Kennedy for the time they get to stay home with newborns and still have a job waiting for them on return. Civil rights, nuclear treaties, he even backed Bush's no child left behind. He crossed party lines, voted his concience and served his state well.

I know Sen. Kennedy was unpopular, one of those elite liberals, chappaquidick, gay rights. But what I see is a patriach, a leader, a true American who served his country. A dynasty the last leader of a breed of wealthy american families who used thier wealth not only for their own gain, but for the good of all.

I cried this morning when I heard the news, it's like loosing an Uncle. And it's a sad day for America. I just hope there's a new breed of Kennedys somewhere out there and I hope they come forth sooner than later.

samantha says hello to her big yai yai and papoo

2009-08-23T17:02:00.000-07:00

Alexis was here all week with Samantha, we had a blast. Various milestones:
1. Samantha waves bye bye
2. She tried peaches, they received about the same reception as all the other foods, yuk.
3. She had her first tumble - proof, it only takes a split second for them to find danger, she fell off the bed. But she's fine.
4. I introduced her to my parents. Se took her to the beach entryway where we have a memorail brick for my parents, and we told her all about them, as you can see in the picture, she was impressed.

We had a great visit, and I'm going to miss her for sure.

Happy Birthday ALEXIS

2009-07-30T14:54:00.000-07:00

Alexis, minutes old

I can't believe I have a daughter that is 29 years old today. Well, I can't believe that daughter has a daughter. Yikes.
Alexis was born at 6am on July 30, 1980. It was a wonderful peaceful mornign, we went to the hospital at 3 or 4 am, I had woken up with contractions, and it was evident it was time. Once in the hospital, we settled into our "birthing" room, a new concept back then; bedroom like labor and delivery rooms. We figured we'd be there all night, as did the nurses. Then I had this major contraction, and the nurses looked at me like I was crazy, they had just checked me and I was only 3cm. They checked me and I had fully dialted, to 9. From 3 to 9 in minutes. I should have been a porche.

Anyway, Alexis was born, she was beautiful and alert as can be, and much like Samantha, she had a full head of black, thick hair.

Happy birthday Alexis, I hope you have a wonderful day.

Love,

Mom

3 generations

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE

2009-07-16T04:11:00.000-07:00

1n 1984
I pushed and you I bore.
Today you're 25
With joy, I want to cry

Happy Birthday Nicole. My sweet second born. I hope your day is a wonderful as it can be. Here's your birth story:

Twenty five years ago today, I started my day disappointed that I hadn't gone into labor the night before. Bored, unable to drive (back then they didn't' let you drive when you got too far along) my neighbor took me out on some of her errands. While walking through K-Mart, I wasn't feeling great. I started getting really strong cramps. By the time we got back into the car I was timing my contractions. Having delivered my first child in just a four hour start to finish labor, we were very cautious about waiting too long before getting to the hospital. Once home I called your dad and told him I thought I was going into labor. He came home and we sat and looked at each other for a while. Nothing more was happening. So, your dad went back to the office.

I just stayed close to home, every now and then a mild cramp, but nothing. At this point I was getting pretty bored with the whole thing and envisioned yet one more day of not going into labor. You were already almost 2 weeks late, so I was ready to have you.

Late afternoon, around 4 or so, my mom called to see how I was doing, having spoke with them earlier in the day, they were on alert that I may be having you that day. I told her I was okay, no contractions, but that I was loosing bladder control. She just yelled at me "Stefanie! Your water has broken.. get to the hospital!"

Well, she was right. So, off we went, and the ride in your dads very bumpy work van confirmed my water had broken. Still no contractions. So, they hooked me up to all kinds of stuff, and we waited. Because my water broke, I could not do the new fancy bedroom type birthing rooms, so the environment they put me in was a regular delivery room. But they told me I could walk around if I wanted. So your dad and I went out into the waiting room to say hello to everyone who was there. I remember your yai yai, papoo and Aunt Chrise. I don't remember who else. But there were lots of people out there waiting for you. At some point I felt something and looked over at your dad told him we needed to get back. I passed the nurses station and told them, something was happening now. They of course figured I was crazy... 20 minutes later your dad was in the waiting room announcing "it's a girl!"

You were named Nicole after my Uncle Nick, who died before you were born, and your middle name, after your godmother.

And you've been a joy and a pain in my butt ever since.

Love,
MOM

big sister and you do Pilates

Love from your big sister.

Summer

2009-07-10T04:13:00.000-07:00

I opened my summer early with my trip. Since, I've been up to Philly, and Philly's been here, along with a continuous stream of company. It's been one long vacation.

My goddaughter from Boston came and she hung out with Samantha for a week. We had a great time, I was working, so it was good they both had each other.

And sweet Samantha was here for a week at yai yai's house. But before that, yai yai went up to Philly to Babysit and also got to introduce Samantha to Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Jerry and Aunt lula, which was very special.

The company continues, and so does my full summer. I hope you're all having an equally fun time.

Back and adjusting

2009-06-06T13:37:00.000-07:00

I missed Greece this week. I miss our culture. I miss the way you can eat in Greece and Italy. Nothing is big, heavy or too much food (except the lunch they served us in Athens, but then they knew they were feeding americans)

I miss the natural way I was physical every day. I must have walked and climbed the equivalent of two step classes each day.

I miss being able to speak greek or at least try, and think each person I met may have been a long lost relative.

I would not give up my american freedoms at all, but I do miss the mediterranean lifestyle. It was wonderful. And I'll be going back for sure!!

Greek Churches

2009-05-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

Today our ship is in Mykonos. It's sunday. So, I got up early, after much planning and figured out how to get into town, and found a church to go to. I even fasted. ON A CRUISE SHIP.

I get there early, sit through orthos, by the way greek church is just like our church in that everyone arrived finally just in time for communion.

So, after sitting there for a long time, we finally get to the end of the liturgy, I go in line to receive, and I'm the last one. I just get up there and the priest turns around and enters the alter, leaving me standing there. I was almost in tears. I cannot tell you how dissapointed and mortified I was.

So, I ask someone. She says, wait until after. Then when church was done I catch the Cantor, tell him I want to receive, the takes me up, the priest comes out and of course his fist question.... ARE YOU GREEK ORTHODOX... so, I guess that's why he turned away.. he probably figured this crazy american tourist (because there's not way not to look american) was busting into his church. When I assured him I was.. I did get communion. so, now, after sitting through how many sundays in mylifetime, I've received communion in GREECE!

As a side note, I've lit candles in Santorini, Mykonos for mom/ dad and all. And I did a special candle in the shrine of the virgian mary, in Turkey for Yai Yai.

Love all, I have gifts for everyone!

having a great time

2009-05-19T08:48:00.000-07:00

Havinga blast. E-mail is costly, and I'd rather buy you all gifts with the money. so, hope you read this. I didn't have everyone's address, I think I sent Alexis an e-mail. but how knows.

Love to all my family, and I'll see you when I come back.

Samantha comes to visit

2009-05-01T04:07:00.000-07:00

I had Samantha and Alexis here for 10 days, Pete joined us at the end of the visit. It was a blast, my only regret is I was unable to take time off from work to really enjoy spending the day with them. but we had a great time.

Here are some pics:

I love this shot of Pete and Samantha. You can really see the resemblence

We went to a couple of big people restaurants, and Sam did great!

No trip to Va Beach is complete without a trip to Rudees. Sam takes a long hard look at the menu. Hmm.. raw bar, or crab cakes?

Our first breakfast on the deck. Yes, it's done. I'll send pics of that soon.

BUSTED!

2009-04-10T04:35:00.000-07:00

The porch was coming along beautifully... then the building inspector stopped by. NO, I did not get a buidling permit first. Yeah, Yeah... I know.... but I figured, we'll we're just fixing up something already there.. oh well..

So, we went down to the city, got our permit...

But, this is not perfect happy ending.... Seems I need a footing. For those of you as stupid about this stuff as I am.. a footing is a cement support, below the frost line (in va, 12") that you're support posts sit on. Usually a house goes on a footing. A deck just sits on a slab of concrete.. like mine was..

But a roof, makes it no longer just a deck. So, now... we're cutting up concrete, and digging and pouring... it's a mess. See:

BUT.. happy endings on the way.. a few more $$'s than I planned. A little longer than I anticipated. And a lot more anxiety.. while I still have to make it through two inspections... but this thing is going to be beautiful. In fact, it's built so well, I told the permits city employee, that I may just rent it out as an apartment to help pay for it. At which point he started rattling off all the codes and restirctions that apply to a duplex... these guys really have been stripped of any ability to lighten up.

Here's some progress pics.

It's coming along.

2009-04-02T18:46:00.000-07:00

Here phase II of the porch.

Today they framed out the roof, so I think by early next week we'll be having dinner out on the patio.

It's HUGE!!

2009-03-31T17:09:00.000-07:00

Here's the progress of the deck. I may have underestimated the size of this thing...

Holey Woodchuck Batman!!

2009-03-31T04:18:00.000-07:00

Like most people, I'm looking only toward the finish product when making a change around the house. I was telling the contractor, oh, watch out for my flowers, and I hope you don't need to make too much of a mess.... Maybe you can find a little area to work... blah blah....

And this man was so sweet, kind of just looking at me smiling, and very kindly telling me he'll do what he can, but he'll can't promise anything... he'll need an area to work.

Behold my new lawn ornament. Again, I never projected this much disruption. BUT, once done, it will be beautiful. And well worth it.

By the way, he did stay out of my flower beds, which I was very happy about.

Two Major Events

2009-03-26T04:57:00.000-07:00

First, Samantha came to yai yai's house. Alexis came with Nicole a few weeks ago and she met her Aunt Francine and Uncle Stan and stayed at Yai yai's for the first time.

Here are some pics of her in her crib. Overall she did really well, she stayed really close to her schedule and I think the trip went okay for Mom too. The crib was the ticket. It's perfect and I'm glad Sam can be comfy when she's visiting me.

The second event is another big change in the house... when you buy your parent's home, it's not just yours to do with what you please. Everyone has their memory and special part of the house that is dear to them. For some, one such part is gone.

I've torn down the back deck.

But don't worry, a new screened in deck will be in it's place by Easter. it's amazing that that thing has not collapsed with a pile of people on it. Every party I have everyone ends up out there on the deck. I hope the construction goes well and the new deck will be a just as much fun for all of us. I'll keep you posted on the developments.

Karl who?

2009-02-17T04:21:00.000-08:00

Karl Rove????

Okay, first we have the crazy mom...(I won't even say her name) I already wrote a letter to the Today show about giving her the time of day.

Now we're on to more important things. Thanks goodness the news has moved off crazy people and on to...well, crazy people. Like this morning's segment with Karl Rove. Oh, yes, let's ask him about the economy and get his expert opinion on our new stimulus package. Wait a minute, wasn't' he sort of a black spot on the Bush administration. Didn't he kind of break protocol, oh why dress it up... HE BROKE THE LAW. Yet he's somehow worthy of a whole segment on NBC news. He has the nerve to speak up against the democrats and blame them for this mess due to their votes against regulating Fanny Mae and Mac. Like that's the only reason we're in this mess.

Okay, let's count the ways:
1. National Security - I guess leaking a CIA informant to the press is not a breach of our national security.
2. Economy - Surplus before Bush takes office, Largest deficits and worse economy in our lifetime as he exits office - mind you democrats only had the last two years of congress.
3. Jobs - Highest unemployment EVER

but these guys have the nerve to say they're right, democrats are wrong. Based on what?

I'm not defending the democrats 100% - but I am saying it's time to put that stuff aside, realize that your ways don't cut it. If they did we wouldn't be in this mess. Let's just fix it and stop the bickering.

And for goodness sakes, how about getting crazy people off of TV. Like KARL ROVE!

I need to find a gardenign show in the morning.

the baton has passed

2009-01-24T08:13:00.000-08:00

What's wrong with this picture?

The other night, I came home from work and decided to fix myself something to eat. My fridge looked like a frat house. Here I am, a mature woman in my fifties, and this is what my fridge looks like these days.

Now, this wasn't' some fluke, or a result of being out of town, these days this is pretty common.

I had just been up at my daughters. We couldn't have shoved even a carrot into her fridge, there was so much food, I was suggesting they may need a second fridge in the basement. It was like when you were a kid and you would go home to your parents, open the fridge and sigh with relief at all the options. Then of course you would start to eat them out of house and home and not leave until you were fully satisfied, and at that you were taking some Tupperware home for the feast to continue for a couple of days.

So, it seems I have officially passed the baton on to my children. This must be the turning point, when the children take over for the parent. The shelves of my GE are actually the beginning signs of my movement into 'cared for' from "care-giver" I've already seen signs of it. A few weeks ago I re-heated the coffee from the day before, rather than make a pot for myself. I've started saving the bags the newspaper comes in for quick storage. I've even caught myself rinsing out a zip lock bag for a second use.

And then there's my eating habits. Turkey sandwich for dinner, until that runs out. Then I move on to peanut butter. The only thing I've not resorted to yet is Ramen noodles, they're way too many weight-watchers points. Overall, at 53, my eating habits are right up there with a collage freshman. My refrigerator as bare. and my life as carefree.

While my daughter has moved on to one full of responsibility, and an abundance of food.

I didn't starve that night, I actually dinned on a deliciously prepared feast of zesty Sante Fe Style Chicken. A luscious combination of chicken, with a blend of southwest seasoning, prepared in a zesty tomato based sauce, served with noodles, and a black bean vegetable combo.

Baby Blues

2009-01-02T17:49:00.000-08:00

I left Philly New Years Eve day. To quote Alexis after her labor expierence, "THAT WAS HARD!" Leaving Alexis, Pete and Samantha was so hard to do, I cried all the way home, and all the next day. I guess you can say I have a case of the 'baby blues'

Here's my favorite video of Samantha. She was home for one day, and Pete and Alexis put her in her swing. As you can see, she loves it.

Welcome Samantha Mary DiLullo

2008-12-27T12:21:00.000-08:00

Pete brought us back to the labor room, and we all got to meet Samantha. Stick with the video, I wasn't the best videographer, I forgot I was taping for a bit, I got so overwhelmed.

The Yai Yai's, the original radicals

2008-12-15T04:14:00.000-08:00

George Bush would have faired well in a greek family.

Who would have thought our Yai Yai's were on the forefront of the political movement. Bush took a shoe, actually two. If we had gotten two slippers, that was bad.

Today on the news I learned it's the ultimate form of insult. All these years I thought it was just the closest thing yai yai could reach to toss at us and get our attention. And today I learn the true meaning. It's right up there with NAH, in fact, I think it's one step beyond.

But Bush had the dodge thing down. I'm beginning to think there was a yai yai in his home.

The original protester, slipper hurler, yai yai

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle....

2008-12-06T13:16:00.000-08:00

My neighborh had the mother of all yard sales today. And since I was prepping for one, I quickly ran around my house and threw out things I've wanted to get rid of.

I applied my merchandising... signage w/ suggested uses for the recycled purchases. I moved things around, truley merchandised and displayed it all.

I ended up about $2 in the hole. I think I made about $18 and spend $20 at my neighborh's sale.

I did unload a ton of stuff. If a friend liked something, I just gave it away... I was just happy to see it walk away from my house, and go off into a good home where it was wanted, and loved.

So, today I did my part to make sure hte enviornment was kept safe for anohter 24 hours.

I LOVE AMERICA!!!

2008-12-01T04:58:00.000-08:00

I had to amend my tax return, simple mistake,but we had overstated the state tax I paid, so a simple amended return. I overpaid $1,168.00 on my original federal return. So, the amended return adjusted the amount I chose to carry over to my '08 estimated by $150.00

I GOT A BILL WITH INTEREST FOR $150. TOTAL: $155.74

Okay, let's review the facts:

1. I overpaid.
2. I get no interest on that overpayment
3. I amend my return, so I overpaid by $150 less.
4. The IRS has my $1,1018.
5. NOW, I owe them $150. WITH INTEREST: $5.74
6. They still have my $1,1018 for toward '08
7. Chances are I'll overpay for '08 too.

YET I STILL OWE THEM $155.74 TOWARD '07 IN CASH BY DECEMBER 31.

8. I will get NO INTEREST ON THE $1,018
9. But I owe them interest.
10. By the way, they calculated the interest from april 15. The amended return just was sent in November. So... they had my $1,168 until November, it's only since november, they decided they didnt' have my $150. but I pay interest from April 15. AMAZING.

When I tried to figure out the logic of this, and said to the agent, no business in the world could operate like this, she just told me this isnt' a business, it's the IRS. And when I asked her as a person, not an IRS agent, can she undrestand how the logic of this escapes me, her responce was, "Yes, but I'm an IRS agent, I work for hte IRS, they pay me." And then I told her, no, I PAY YOU.

She hung up on me after that. I suspect I'll be audited soon.

I am officially hip

2008-11-23T18:10:00.000-08:00

My facebook account, yes, facebook. Me. I'm cool. I now can tell thousands of people what I'm doing moment by monent. It's a cyber diary. Instant. If I go to the bathroom, I can post the event for thousands. Eat dinner, tell all what I just digested. Watch TV, share the experience. Do nothing, tell all. I have three friends. Which is pretty pathetic, since others have many more. Friends are those facebookers who found you, or who invited you to be their friend. I'm not sure what the purpose is. I really don't know how to navigate through the whole thing. If I were to put my address book in apparently through some program they'll search it and find all kinds of friends for me based on who's in my address book. But that seems kind of weird. I'm not sure I like some server going through my computer. If they can search my address book, what else can they find? My weight watchers log? Bank accounts? Seems a bit too creepy. Instead, me and my three friends just wait for others to find me. It sort of parallels my real life. I better go, I think one of my friends has made a new post. friends

http://www.facebook.com/

Blog lady

2008-11-14T07:57:00.000-08:00

We are all put to shame by the number one blog lady, Alexis. She is so good at keeping up her blog, keeping us all informed and making sure to post at least once a week. Where as, I'm lucky I get something up here once every three months.

There is so much to update, let's see:

1. new chair
2. Trip to NY to see the play - Nicole, Justin, Pete, Alexis, and NY cousins
3. work
4. hmmmm, can't think of anymore.

Maybe that's why I don't blog. If you were to break down my day, it would be: Get up/ exercise/ go to work/ come home/ go to bed/wake up, start the routine over again. And yet, I'm not sure how I would fit anything else in. Yes, I work hard and long hours, but geez, I could do more with my evenings.

Oh, there is the occasional go for a drink and dinner after work, then go home and go to bed. I marvel at those people who can actually make plans on a week night. Just yesterday, I was leaving the office and a coworker was driving downtown to attend a design group's meeting where they were showing a film. Yikes, all the way downtown (about 15 miles) and probably going to be out really late (the event was over by 9:30) I was amazed at his energy!

After all, how does anyone go out after work, the sun if down for goodness sakes, once the sun is down, I'm done. It's over. I wonder if it goes back to being a child, you know your mother would say: it's dark, time to go to bed! I think it scared me for life, and now once it's dark, it's time to be in my sweats and go to bed.

So, now that we're in standard time, and it gets dark sooner, I'll more time making entry's in my blog. Only problem is I need to do something to talk about.

It's a conundrum.

Alexis' and Pete's baby room. I helped.

alexis shower in philly, Alexis, Nicole, me

Always room for art

2008-09-28T09:19:00.000-07:00

Calvin Trillion wrote: "no matter how poor people are, there's always money for cigarettes and booze. Over the years I've had my own twist on that... always money for art. I can remember times when I didn't know where my mortgage payment was going to come from, and yet I still forked up the money to buy a piece of art. And it's never a peice that has to fit a decor, it's just something I fall in love with.

This was different. I had it in my mind to buy some art to fit my new "beach" living room decor. I had shopped the neptune show on friday and saturday, and nothing really popped out at me. Here I was ready to plop down some cash and I couldn't' find a thing to buy for the house.

Then a friend asked me to help fill out a table at a benefit auction downtown at "D'Art Center" And seeing as I was in the market for art, maybe I could make a purchase and do some good too. I bid on this one piece, it was really beautiful. Still not fulfilling the need I had, large, beach, bright colors, and happy. I decided I needed "happy" art. This piece was smaller, and had no beach theme at all.

As the bidding went up my desire for that piece went down, it was in budget, but earlier in the evening I had seen another piece that took my breath away. large, colorful, and at first glance, happy. If I was going to fork over some serious cash, I at least wanted some realestate to show for it. So, I stopped the bidding and went for the piece I had seen earlier. It was 4' x 3'. The size I needed, but it was horizontal, I was looking for that in vertical. However, once again, I gave no credence to my decorating needs and plunged in. I was in love, and there is no rationalizing with emotions.

And there it is. I know my picture doesn't do it justice, but it's wonderful. The colors are so vibrant. The light is wonderful, in person you can feel the light on the kids. And it has the edge I seem to like, conflict. No matter how hard I try, I can't buy happy art. Or something to fit over a sofa. This one is in the dining room, as it wouldn't even fit in the living room.

Well, it makes me happy. Now, let's hope some checks come in so I can pay my mortgage this month.

change, change, change

2008-09-07T07:17:00.000-07:00

New hair....I'm short again. At least my hair is short again, I've always been short. No news there.

New paint colors for my new living room, say goodbye to the jewel tones, my house is now going to be tan and nutural. quite a different look. The painter comes tomorrow. So, I'm tearing my house apart to prep for him, I had no idea how much art work I have on the walls. Then by friday, I plan to have it all back together when Pete and Alexis arrive to visit, and sunday I'm having about 20 people over her for a baby shower.

I don't stress myself out too much, hu?

At least my hair will be easy to care for.

Hanna proved to be a piece of cake, minimal damage if any. I just have limbs all around the yard, and I was still able to keep my hair appointment. Then I sported my new look at the local watering hole's hurricane party. and even after two martini's my hair still looked good. Always a good test.

I'll send pics of the new walls. In the meantime, here's my new look. Took these myself, kind of hard to do, but it gives you a good idea.

Itchy situation

2008-08-20T18:07:00.000-07:00

Tonight I had a moment, right from a movie. Five Easy pieces. Remember when Jack Nicholson went head on with the waitress over substitutions

I go into rite aid. Mind you, been working all day, tired, stressed, too much work, too few people. Was in Richmond all day yesterday. another 12-hour day. Tired, and itchy, I've had a rash that I've come to the conclusion is Poison Ivy. I'm pretty uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable to be exact. In between the itching and work I finally l squeak out a few minutes to stop at the drug store to buy the absolute best thing ever invented. Zanfel. When I say it's wonderful, I mean it. last bout I had with Poison ivy etched it in my brain as the most wonderful drug ever invented.

Get into the Rite-aid, look for it, don't see it. Walk over to the pharmacist. There are two people back there, I hear

"Be right with you..."
Finally, one comes around...
"do you have Zanfel?"
She asks the other person, they reply,
"right over there against the wall..." where I had just looked..

I go to the wall and look again, I must have missed it. Not there. Back to the Pharmacist
"Be right with you...."
she comes back
"I didn't see it there..."
She asks the other person again..
"Oh, we must not carry it anymore, we have our brand called quick dry, it's just as good"

I go back to the wall. No quick dry, something that appears to be like it. I grab it and bring it over to the counter
"Be right with you...
She comes...I say:
"Is the the equivalent to Zanfil"
She asks the other person...response:
"No, quick dry, it's over there on the wall..."

I go to the wall, pick up everything that says quick dry, dry, quick, or promises to cure, soothe, or obliterate poison ivy. I now have about 20 bottles, tubes and jars of stuff. I walk over the the counter.... plop each one down...one by one....plop, plop, plop...I hear from the back

"Be right with you......"
She came back, I asked her politely, "Which one of these is the equivalent to Zanfil.
She actually carries a bunch of them back to the other person, the one who kept sending me to the wall. Wall lady then says: "Oh, we must be out of quick dry."

At that point, i was too uncomfortable to even make a fuss. I left the 20 bottles, jars and tubes there and choose one, and came home. I have no idea. I'll keep you posted.

This is why we have random acts of violence.

What was I thinking?

2008-07-25T18:01:00.000-07:00

I took this contract with my ex company, wanted to fill my time a little better, be a part of something, so on and so on. You know what they say, "be careful what you wish for?" It's been an interesting challenge, and I'm still getting through it. I've fired, hired, alienated, drove them away, and developed. All in all it's been good, but exhasting. I find I have no time left at all. I'm not even getting to the gym like I used to. I work all the time, wait a minute, did I say gym...

I'm working on a gym account. Wareing's gym. Most know it, they've been an institution here at the beach forever. And we're working on the account. So, those nice people at Wareings have invited us to come workout. It's just around the corner from our office, so going at lunch is a no-brainer. Something I've always been a fan of. The other day we took a spin circuit class. So, I hop on a bike, and I notice these weired things are hanging from the ceiling, they looked a cross between the "rings" from gymnastics, and a bit of S&M. All of a sudden the instructor has us hop off the bike, and we're using these hanging tourture things to do pushups, flys, bicep curls, tricep work, oh my goodness, I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DYE!

I've seen most things, done most classes, but NEVER one like this. It's called the TRX system, and it was invted by a navy seal for training. It engages your 'core" as the way it works is your body creates the resistance. I didn't do the one where you put your feet in the straps, that one went just too far. But, I survived. I'm no thinner, maybe I added 5 minutes to my complete lifespan. I'm a little sore today, but alot proud.

I tamed the beast

2008-07-11T03:28:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I purchased this really lovely bush from the garden center. In the spring is has a wonderful fragrant flower, and I love the twisting bark. I had no idea it was going to get SO BIG! A common garden mistake. However, even when buying, I had no idea this thing was a huge unruly giant of a tree. Not a bush at all.

I've since found out it's called a chinese fringe tree. And they're a specimin in most gardens. Hard to grow, and rare. Their counterpart is the Fringe Tree, more of a tree, the chinese one is more of a spreading bark, and an exfoliating bark (like river birch) so the bark itself can also be decorative in the garden. My chinese fringe tree has defied the rules, everything I read says they're slow growers, could have fooled me, I can't keep this one from growing. It's as high as the house, an I think it's only been 3 or 4 years. But it is beautiful. Had I known what it was or read up on it when I purchased it I would have known give it a 15 to 20 ft radius of room to grow. Oh well.

And as much as I hate to pull out plants or trees, especially healthy ones, I had to tame this one, or yank it. So, last night I pulled out my pruners, and started going at it. Pruning is something I pride myself on doing a great job at. I think I have a natural eye for following the natural growth, creating a great canopy, and keeping things in check. I'll have to keep an eye on it as the next concern is the root system being so close to the foundation.

I was rather aggressive with this one, and may have made a mistake or two, but overall, I'm quite pleased with the results. Now I can see out my deck to the other side of the garden. Before pruning, my view was huge wall of green foliage. with a little under-planting, this will look lovely. I'm quite pleased.

The green giant has been tamed.

Bag Lady

2008-06-26T03:48:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know me know the size, or lack of size, of my purses had always been an issue. I hate to carry big bags, I'm usually stuffing everything I need to carry into these tiny little things, it's sort of like a shriners car when I start to unload what's in there.

Well, I've converted. And I may be hooked. Meet my new BIG summer purse. I love the fact that you can just throw anything in there. I mean anything. I can probably shove a set of overnight clothes in there. (Which would have come in really handy this week when I found myself in richmond, and I had forgot to pack underware, but that's another entry.)

So, I no longer will be hanging these dainty things from my arm, that hold keys, cell phone and a couple of bills and credit cards. No than you! I'm into BIG. Shoving it all in, anything I want. I"M LOVING THE BIG PURSE THING!!

Musings from the land of ties

2008-06-25T04:41:00.000-07:00

I'm in richmond. Everyone up here wears a tie, or they have purple hair. There is hardly anything in between. One time when I was up here, I was sitting at my hotel bar (there's a surprise) and I was watching all these men flow into "the Tabaco Company" a well know restaurant just across the street, and they all had on the same type of uniform, so I'm thinking there's some sort of convention in town. And all these men were from a group...then on closer look I realized the blue blazer, khaki pants and tie they were all wearing wasn't some assigned uniform, it was the "richmond" uniform. It's just how they all dress up here.

Not a richmond fan. I hope no one from Richmond reads this. It's way conservative up here, or they swing to the other end of the spectrum, swinging so far left, it's punkish.

I guess it's no different where I live, there you don't even see ties. Everyone's either a surfer, Dude! Or a construction worker. Not that I have anything against either one, but now and then it would be nice to see a man in a tie, or at least something other than a ripped t-shrit, and "board shorts" And the politics in Virginia beach, we'll we all know which way they swing, can you say "religious right"?

And if you explore any region, I guess they all have their quirks. NY, too many Vinnie's. Philly: Yo!, California: plastic surgery. One of the more well-rounded areas I lived in was Louisville, of course emphasis on the "rounded" part. There are no edges in the mid-west. Everyone is polite, nice, quite, they dress to blend in, don't offend, and lay low. I used to call it land of the bland. Maybe I need to re-think my opinion of the mid-west. I can't even stereotype Louisville, nothing stood out.

Back to Richmond. It' a pretty place, and the people are nice, I guess it's sort of land of the bland, with a blue blazer, tie and Khaki's. Not so bad, but I still don't like it up here. It's like a wanna-be city. Always trying to be something. Not sure what. I'll finish up my job and head out of tie land, back to "flowered board shorts" land. I may not have ties, but at least I have a beach. And that seems to cover up all the other sins of omission.

Follow through

2008-06-17T17:55:00.000-07:00

last weekend I had a small party. I called it a gemini birthday party, and in true form it was two parties in one. A woman in town invited quite a few of her friends and fellow Gemini's and I had my group. Combined it made for a bizarre mix of guests, but as I said, the perfect party for Gemini's. Afterwards, a couple of people thanked me for a lovely time, and complimented my music, promising to share some of theirs with me, as they could tell I would like their collection.

Done, I figured, that was nice, never really expecting to get anything. These days we always drop kind gestures off, "oh, we must have a drink" or "I'll call you we'll do lunch" you know, a bundle of let's do, we shoulds and all those empty promises we make to not only others, but ourselves. Promising to actually get out, broaden our circle, play now and then. Now and then, Now and .....then...Then, life.

Life comes screaming in, and all of a sudden those new faces and empty promises disappear behind our jobs, businesses, housework, family commitments and lack of energy. In fact, really none of us are too busy to pick up the phone, drive by and say hi, or drop an e-mail. Look at me, I have time to sit here and write these darn posts, don't I?

It's habit that's to blame for it all. If we're losing touch, it's habit. Nothing else. I remember my mother's last birthday, I called her, and it was later in the day. I took her for granted, she would always be there, no question. My Godmother, I kept saying I need to get up to NY and see her, she was ill. Again, I felt, we'll there's time. My Godfather, who could of projected his untimely death. Even those we meet and think, nice person, I should include them in my life...then too much time and it becomes a stretch.

I write this, while listening to a wonderful CD that was dropped off at my house with a nice note. After this one, I'll pop in the Bobby Darren collection that was put together for me and mailed, again, with a nice note. And I think tonight I'll pick up the phone and call someone I've not spoken to in a while. After all, I owe it to myself.

It's Garden time

2008-06-14T05:17:00.000-07:00

My garden always looks great in June, so I'm sharing my favorite spots with you. I had a morning dove who built her nest right on the ground. In fact, didn't build a nest at all, just used the mulch I already had down there. I've been told morning doves are not very smart.

What was so sad about this, is I watched this little bird look like it had fallen out of it's nest. then next day I saw the mother sitting with it, and she had another little bird. She sat there for days, it looked like she never moved. I'm not sure when she went off to gather food to feed them...but she must have.

I'm not sure what happened to the birds, they're gone now. But my feeling is they didn't make it. I did see a dead baby bird in my driveway, not sure if it was the same one, but the cats apparently left it there to honor me.

I remember when I had a head injury back around 1990. I had been hit in the head with a softball at practice, it was bad. Although it wasn't serious, I did have a slight concussion. At the time Joel was away on some "boys" weekend. So, there I was, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep for the next 10 years, hurting, and crying all weekend too.

And as I was sitting outside, I noticed a mother bird in her nest taking care of her young. I must have watched that bird for hours (you do weird things when you have a head injury). By the end of the day, this bird and I were one. Struggling on our own to take care of and protect our young, facing adversity, rising above... this bird became a symbol of my life at that point. I was inspired, lifted toward new goals, engergized, if this bird could do it.....SO COULD I!!!

Next morning, bird, nest and babies were gone. Knocked down, babies slaughtered, mom off to start a new life (I hope).

I cried all day.

You do weird things when you have a head injury.

Garden photos:

This is my clamatis

I love this plant, I hate this plant. I cannot kill it. but it does reward me with some pretty blooms.

I think of this as my secret path

primrose. It's done now, but in early june it's wonderful

My new front sitting area

Happy Birthday Weekend To Me!

2008-05-31T06:54:00.000-07:00

This is my birthday weekend, and I have very little to say. Sorry. I'm known as the Lizzie Borden of Davis & Company, since most the past two weeks have been spent firing people, that will make one feel really good about one's self. So, now I shall begin to re-build my department at the agency. (Anyone know a good writer and web designer who want to live and work in Virginia Beach?) My garden looks great, I will post some photo's later. The garden is probably my best accomplishment at the moment. It brings me great satisfaction, it's rewarding me with wonderful blooms, and fantastic color. And it's rather peaceful to go outside right now. June is probably my favorite month. All the flowers look wonderful, the weather is still cool enough for windows only, the mosquitos are just barely feeding, and it's my birthday. What more can a girl ask for.

Basically, I have a pretty tame life, in-spite of my daughter's claim that "I live like a rock star" More like a librarian, I would think. But then, oh well, perception is larger than reality sometimes.

Speaking of perception, can anyone tell me why this book by Scott McClellan is news. Why is it news to anyone that Bush spined the truth, and used propaganda to sell the Iraq war? I know, I shouldn't get political, but give me a break. The media is acting like kids who grow up and find out their parents DON"T know everything. I'm to the point I can't watch the news anymore.

And, where's our sense of humor? You know that new preacher who just got Obahma in trouble again, you have to admit, and I like Hillary clinton, but if you saw the excerpts from his sermon, you had to l laugh. It was funny!

Geez, we all need to laugh some more.

I'm off to Urbana for a dinner party tonight, so I plan to have nice time, in spite of the fact, I really don't want to go. And that shall begin my birthday weekend.

MOM is for Me On Myown

2008-05-12T04:19:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day, came and went. I've never been a big fan. It's nice my kids remember me, but I'm not so sure we need one day set aside for us moms. Heard from Alexis and Jessica, Nicole had sent her regards earlier, since going up mountains, access to the web in Napal was going to be an issue. So I was basically on my own. Spin at 8am, then home to work out my recent innovation on a watering systems for my garden. It didn't' work. By mid-day I had wrapped it up, both because of failure and rain. Showered, read, slept, read....I couldn't help but contrast this mother's day to other's. Most mothers were in the throws of making sure everyone else was happy. And here i was, just me, a true self indulgent mother's day. I decided to be thankful for that, and think about all the thanks I get all year. Like when Nicole tells me while up a mountain in Nepal, she got sick and called for me. Or when my married daughter calls me, when she needs someone to chat to or vent when having a bad day. Or when my step daughter goes out of her way to also recognize me, and thank me for her involvement in her life. If I were to have achieved anything in my life, it would be to have been half the mother mine was. And there are many times I realize, she would be proud. My children give me feedback all year long. True when they were young I always questioned what I was doing, you never think you're getting it right. Just the day before I was talking with a mom of four, and she is in the throws now of watching her oldest approach the teen years. Her questioning days just beginning. I feel for her.

And back to my mother's day. Later in the day, one more person I mother called and invited me out for a martini, his treat. Yes, Mark. We had a martini, then chinese food, take out, of course, then I was snug in bed by my usual time. Perfect day. And today is my mom's birthday. So for her, let me say, I think I did it. I always felt that if I could be half the mother mine was, I would have achieved success. I think I'm happy with what I've done, better yet, my mother would be proud.

mom

2008-05-07T18:09:00.000-07:00

Deleted

2008-05-07T13:49:00.000-07:00

On May 7, at 9:43 am I was deleted. Don't worry, I'm physically fine and the IRS still knows I exist. But otherwise, I'm done. Gone. In someone's mind I never existed.

I had been seeing a man, it was still in the discovery stages, and so things can go either way in those early days. Well, for me it hadn't gone. I enjoyed his company, but overall I wasn't thinking of our relationship growing into much more than a friendship. So, last time we talked to arrange a meeting, we planned on dinner, I made my intentions clear. Dinner, great. His company, fun, but relationship, is not happening. So, the morning of said dinner, I text him "Still up 4 dinner?"

I get this back:
From (his name)
message to (his number)
deleted.
may 7, 9:43 am

I've been deleted. How do you respond to that? Well, in a zen way you can't. If one is deleted, one doesn't exist, ergo one has no means of responding. If a deleted person shouts in the woods, does anyone here it?

It's not the first time I've experienced a deletion. There was Dave. He and I had been dating for about 2-years. One night, he was visiting for the weekend and I had plans to go out, one of my friends showed up and Dave was there. She politely said: "oh, you're Dave, I've heard so much about you..." That night when I came home, Dave was gone. No motorcycle. No backpack, No signs of him at all. As though he had been deleted, I e-mailed him that night and it came back, his account closed. He didn't have a phone, so I couldn't call. He had deleted himself. He felt it was better that way now that others new everything about him.

Imagine where we would be if everyone who was scorned could just delete any trace of the cause of their pain. We would have no idea who Heathcliff was. Deleted. Romeo and Juliet deleted themselves. King Henry VIII had his own methods of deletion. And I bet Mia Farrow wishes she could have deleted Woody Allen. Now that we're the digital age, all you have to do is empty your inbox, and poof, all the pain, in the trash. And all the history, future novels, movies and romantic stories, gone. I recently saw a survey how long does one keep the phone numbers of old boyfriends in their phone? And some said they're gone almost right away. Others feel the need to hang on to it for a while. I don't want to speculate on what early deletion vs the lingering means, but I'm sure there's a study somewhere with those answers.

Meanwhile, today, for the first time to my knowledge, I was deleted. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It's the ultimate rejection, even if brought on by rejection. But to be erased, obliterated, gone, expunged, removed, scratched, wiped off the face of the earth, well its' downright insulting.

It is quick, complete and saves me from dealing with someone I wasn't that interested in to begin with, but being deleted. Well, I'm just not sure I'm ready to be banned to the ultimate trash can in the sky.

Derby Day

2008-05-03T11:09:00.000-07:00

All week, well actually all last month, I've known this is Derby Day. Once you've lived through the fever of the pre-derby hoopla, it's in your system forever. Almost every year since I came back from Louisville I would throw a derby party. Mint juleps, plenty of food and so on. Of course, my dad would come too. He so looked forward to it. He would sit and hold court, tell tails of betting and horse racing, including the one where he overheard a tip, and took his last dollars to win money to get our mother out of the hospital after a car accident where she had miscarried. Just one more wonderful peek into how truly crazy our father really was. Like those horses, he seemed to be bread for speed and winning, regardless of consequences. And if one could liken our mother to anyone in that equation, i suspect she's the jockey. Knowing when to push, when to pull up on the reins and how to guide the beast to his final goal. After her death, my dad leaned on us for that guidance, teetering between being our role model and advisor and needing us to be his. May' 06 was my last derby party. Barbaro won. My dad and I tracked his career and fall. I think my dad even cried when Barbaro fell. Little did we know their fates would be almost tied together, in one year, both took a big fall. Dad's life became more and more difficult for him, his mind less and less sharp, and his energy more and more difficult to maintain. But he never lost his spunk. I suspect Barbaro too was fighter to the end. Dad passed in January of '07 just days before Babaro was put down. Today there is no Derby party, but I will be watching the race. And I'll think of my Dad while I watch those horses run with all their heart to accomplish the one thing they were brought up to do, win. Just like my dad, who won the best thing anyone could have in life, everyones love.

Shoot!

2008-05-03T06:02:00.001-07:00

I've been in shooting mode for the last three days. That means, my contact with the outside world has been minimal, if at all. But last night, I dragged my tired ass Downtown to hear a friends band play, and it was so worth it. A lovely night on the Elizabeth River with a glorious view of the sunset and some fun folk music, all outside. Once again, it made me long for a chance to live in Norfolk. There is such a different atmosphere down there, I kept thinking of the difference between the venue I was at and one at the beach.

At the beach the band would have been playing Jimmy Buffet or The Eagles. This band was just two people with a guitar sining folk, and comedy type music. The beach everyone would have been half dressed, wild colored shirts, and a there would have been at least one drunk woman, dancing in the middle, beer in one hand, cigarette in the other, squealing at a pitch that would make dogs run for cover. This crowd was drinking, talking, interacting with the band, having fun, but not on the verge of being arrested. The beach, the police would have forced everyone who had a drink to stay behind some imaginary line that was mandated by the ABC board. Last night the bike cops came up and hung out for a bit just to listen to the music, and talk to the crowd. No one was ticketed, or removed by force or arrested. I'm probably more of a Norfolk woman, it really is something I should look into. But then, I do like being right down here by the beach too. Maybe I need two homes.

who's not with it?

2008-04-30T19:56:00.000-07:00

Well, la de da. Guess who had a blog long before you young whippers even thought of blogging. Yeah, I'm cool. I'm in, I'm hot!

I better have something to say. In fact, I think it was my life-long writers block that kept me from sharing my useless thoughts. A tour through my grey matter is somewhere between a Stephen King Novel, and Jack and Jane books. Not a pretty place to go. So, I usually keep my stream of consciousness writing to a small folder on my hard drive, cryptically named so no one will ever stumble on it.

The update for now would be my new 90-day contract with my old employer. I am now the stand-in creative director at my old agency. Once again, I have to be somewhere every day. Nice thing is I have one focus. Bad news is, I have one focus. I'll keep you posted on my happiness, or unhappiness.

Well, it's late, and since I've already blogged, you can read my past posts. Enjoy. I'll keep those cards and letters coming.

Nicole's 22nd Birthday

2006-07-16T16:29:00.000-07:00

I’m a terrible mother. I just saw, for the first time, where my youngest child lives, celebrated her 22nd birthday, and I forgot my camera home.

Nicole and I had a wonderful time. We treated ourselves to a night in the swanky “Carolina Inn” in Chapel Hill, AKA, and Utopia. As I’ve often heard it described from those who went to school down there. And it is very quaint.

I arrived sat around lunch, and Nicole had to work for about another hour. So, I amused myself, wandered around the grocery store where she works. Weaver Street Market, a boutique type grocery store, with organic and environmentally correct offerings. It’s a food co-op. She gave me a tour of her floral department, all the lilies were beautiful. Then we had lunch in the commons, or the park right outside her store.

Once she got off work, our mission was to see her place and make her bed comfortable. Her house is a cute 3-bedroom ranch, in a lovely neighborhood with what appears to be the bones of a very nice garden. They have their own washer and dryer, nice! She shares the space with two boys, and Charlotte. Her and Charlotte share a bedroom and they have it fixed up cute, but the bed is on the floor and they get tired of sharing.

So, we took of for the stores, and ended up with the cutest futon, an egg crate foam pad and a memory foam mattress pad for the big bed. So, now Nicole can retreat to the futon when it gets too crowded in the bed.

Nicole's new futon!!

Then we decided to sneak off to a lovely hotel to treat ourselves to a mini vacation. But due to a mix up in the reservation, we had to share a bed…how funny is that, no relief for Nicole I guess.

Our swanky get-away!

But overall we had a nice night, dinner at “Elaine’s”. Nicole had been seeing it for the longest time and had always wanted to go, so we did. We walked up and down the street, checking out every place, but Elaine’s won out. And by then we were pooped, so off to bed. Then the next day we had a great brunch at the restaurant owned by the same people that own “Weaver street market” Charlotte and Kyler (her roommate) joined us and we officially celebrated her birthday.

All in all it was a lovely visit. Nicole is doing well, still planning on NY, but in about a year, next may to be exact. And she’s dating and quite smitten with Justin, who is going to the North Carolina School of the Arts, and graduates around the same time.

So, that’s the news from Chapel Hill and Nicole’s birthday. Sorry no pictures. But, you can tell Nicole to send you some herself.

You can't win

2006-04-14T03:52:00.000-07:00

I've been on weight watchers now for amost two months. I do it online, log in my food points, read the tips, create recepies, it's actually a great way to do it. My own home, no meetings where all the members discuss the lastes 0-point food subsitute they've found, just me, my computer, and the liitle words of encourgement that it feeds me.

Like last week, when I didn't lose any weight, the little lady in the computer was so nice to me. She encourged me not to get discouraged, "this happens all the time." And I should focus on the fact that I didn't gain, so overall it was a good week. Okay, I accepted that, I even went into the on-line community where all these other woman who also had not lost one week or so while counting every little thing that goes into their mouth and counting out thier corn chips, they seemed positive. They had all sorts of great things to say, and it all made the whole idea of only eating 1/2 of a bannana alright.

So, one can only imagine my horror this week, when, all proud, I sit down and log in my wieght loss. THREE pounds. I'm thinking, they're going to put some sort of gold star next to my name. I may even made some listing of "good weight losers" or something really cool. The little lady in the computer is going to be SO proud of me! Wrong. Instead I got a "nice, but."

They told me I lost too much weight. They told me I had to slow down, not work out as much, or be sure to eat some of my extra points I earn for working out. THEY YELLED AT ME!! The nice lady in the computer, who has been nothing but encouraging, yelled at me. And burst my whole bubble. They sent me to a place on the site that talks about the horrors of rapid weight loss. RAPID WEIGHT LOSS?? I've been fat for 10 years now. I would not categorize my wieght loss as RAPID.

I'm finally seeingresults, after doctors, and gym instructors are telling me to "increase my workouts" "lifestyle changes" "calories in, calories out" I'm finally making it all work for me, and this snotty b%$@! yells at me. The nerve.

I won't let that arrogant, probably skinny and never had to measure her skim milk, little pris in the computer burst my bubble.I'm on a roll. And if I lose three pounds, I'll post my own gold star on forehead, measure out 2oz of champaign and toast my own achievments, regardless of what the computer thinks.

2006-03-29T04:10:00.000-08:00

My dining room is now in my den. My den and office are now my dining room. I haven't totally organized it all yet, so don't be quick to judge. Also, I'm not really used to it. It really changes everything. Traffic patterns, my morning routine, everything is different. But I think I'll live with it and get used to it. We'll see how it goes.

Here are some pics.

Our family blog

2005-12-21T11:06:00.000-08:00

I've started a blog for all of us so we can share information and post pictures. This way we can all keep in touch. I guess the first thing I'll talk about is Nicole's graduation and her wonderful party. She graduated with honors and she's totally free now. And boy is that a wonderful feeling for her.

This is just a breif posting, but as things happen and I get time, I'll make sure I keep adding and adding. You can all add to this too when you post a comment everyone will see it.